Surviving Sexual Abuse and Selfinjury



May 17, 2005 -- As a child, Jo was sexually and emotionally abused by her grandmother and an uncle. She had repressed the memories, but always inexplicably felt there was something wrong. One evening, seemingly out of nowhere, Jo had her first memory of sexual abuse, and a disturbing experience later learned to be body memory, a physiological response that accompanies the recall of traumatic experiences. She tried to suppress them, and punished herself physically and emotionally because of these memories for years. It led her on a journey of self-discovery, filled with pain, fear and setbacks.

Why do people self-injure They feel they deserve to punish themselves because of letting past abuse happen. They were repeatedly invalidated in some way as a child. They never learned appropriate ways to express their emotions. People who self-injure get emotionally overwhelmed, and, when it's a strong uncomfortable feeling, they don't know how to handle it. There's hurt, helplessness, loneliness, guilt, despair and isolation. They know that hurting themselves will reduce the emotional distress, but, also know its ineffectiveness can cause the tailspin. But, at the same time, feeling peacefully miserable. It can be a form of punishment for having body memories.

Self-injury usually has meaning for the person who has insight into why they self-injure. It's an extension of learned behavior. We were taught that our body was of no value.

We live in a sexualized culture where people respond with horror to the sexual violence perpetrated against children, or with harsh 'judgment' to what they consider promiscuity, but fail to talk candidly about it. These acts may be part of the individuals own illness-not always a choice. The fact that we live in a sexualized culture, surrounded by signs and ads using sex to sell may be part of the paradox that creates such aberrant behavior. Almost everything that is advertised talks about how it will feel good, get better and get more sex. The emphasis is on great sex. This may account for behavior that is a 'choice' to cope in ways that are 'taught' to victims and accepted and promoted in a culture full of mixed messages. These acts may be part of the individuals own illness-not always a choice.

"There are many survivors of abuse who carry secrets--secrets that no one can know about and secrets that ruin our lives."

"Peeling Back the Layers" (ISBN: 1-4137-6309-X) is published by Publish America.

For more information or contact the author: www.self-injure.com





Surviving Sexual Abuse and Selfinjury