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What Happens When 10000 Adoptive Parents Get Together for Coffee Adoptive...

The Internet has revolutionized the world of adoption. No one predicted the latest trends. Adoptive families are searching for info and even birth parent contact -- internationally.



U.S. families have even located biological siblings to their children living in nearby cities.



"The Internet has been like winning the lottery for some people. Adoptive parents for example, have become 'rich' with information and opportunities," says adoption expert, Beth O'Malley, M.Ed. " O'Malley, a social worker, adult adoptee, adoptive mother and author of LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child, is meeting families whose lives have been changed by the information and resources available online (her family also being one of them).



"The Internet has changed every type of adoption," says O'Malley, mentioning the August 1st 2005 issue of Newsweek which included an article by Peg Trye about adoptive parents who are seeking out information, and even birth parent contact, on behalf of their internationally-born children. "Five years ago no one would have dreamed this was possible," says O'Malley.



Another ground breaking Internet trend is list servs. O'Malley says, "It's like 10,000 Moms having coffee together in the morning and comparing notes." Thousands of adoptive families with children born outside the United States are gathering online and sharing information via list-serv groups. Examples of the types of issues discussed include:



* Discovering biological siblings (even twins) living in the United States

* Specific orphanage conditions where children lived as babies/toddlers

* Health worries (such as lead levels) shared by children cared for in specific cities



Families are getting DNA tests done (based on the resemblance of children in photos posted online) to determine if they have biological twins, cousins or siblings living with other adoptive families in the United States. Families have also created databases and donor registries in the instance adopted children will need medical interventions.



Even private investigators are being hired who live in or will travel to their child's birth country. These 'Internet Detectives' find information about birth families, circumstances of a child's abandonment and actual pictures if the adoptive family is lucky.



Domestically, electronic photo listings on websites are making it easier for adoptive parents-to-be and waiting children to connect. " Adopt US Kids, a national photo listing can make possible in days what used to take years" says social worker O'Malley. Older adoptees are now able to search without relying on adoption agencies or private investigators. Birth parents as well, can find prospective families from anywhere in the United States without being limited to the client pool of a local adoption agency. "The Internet has made it easier for people in the birth triad to find each other."



Search and reunion stories used to occur only in the world of domestic adoption and then occasionally for children adopted internationally. No more.



"Adoptive parents are becoming much more sophisticated," says O'Malley. "Some of the standards of what constitutes a good adoptive parent are in flux. In the old days, all you needed was love and to wait for kids to ask questions. Today, you're seeing parents who are proactive and seeking of information."



Any one of these trends has the ability to unearth new information which may change or completely alter an adopted child's life story. In her books, free email newsletters and on the information she provides on her website www.adoptionlifebooks.com O'Malley reminds adoptive parents not to be afraid of the information surrounding their child's adoption.



Based on her personal and professional experience, O'Malley believes in the power of the truth and that sharing it in age-appropriate ways is powerful and liberating. "Kids can handle a whole lot more than people believe," she says, "and nine times out of ten, they know the stuff on some level anyway."

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